In Culver City lives a new space that is very, shall we say, unique. Royal T! It’s part gallery, part shop, and part cafe. Maid cafe. Like the kind in Japan. The waitresses in maid costumes. I’m not even joking. This kind of thing being half a block from work is so awesome I was compelled to check it out and it’s become one of my new favorite places ever!

Inside you’ll find some seriously pricey artwork by famous Superflat Japanese Artists for sale. Takashi Murakami and Yoshitomo Nara both have work displayed here. ( The dog statue in the picture above is by Nara.) But today my goal was not art, but to obtain High Tea!

I’d been here for lunch before, and the Steak, Brie, and Roasted Tomato sandwich is mighty fine, but what really caught my eye was the High Tea, a set meal for $20 and served only after 2 pm. So today the lovely Gwen accompanied me to check it out. Thanks Gwen! There’s her elbow screen right.

Pictured above is what you get with the High Tea. My choice of tea was Iced Royal Matcha Milk, although there are many hot tea options. On the very top tier is a Mini Quiche. It had a mushroom herb filling and was pretty tasty but not mind blowing. What really caught my attention were the bottom two layers. The middle tier contains a tiny fruit tart with berries and a key lime – like filling. Next was the most interesting sweet, the Sesame cake. It seemed to be made of layers of a black sesame mousse/pudding, white spongecake, and adzuki bean paste topped with an unidentifiable pink jelly. Really interesting texture and subtle flavor combination, and I think it may have been my favorite. Last was the Chocolate Espresso cake OMGWTFBBQAWESOME. This guy was chocolate incarnate. A thick, brownie like cake is covered with layers of chocolate ganache and touched with just a hint of coffee flavor. Very, very intense and very, very good.

And to the bottom layer! These little sandwiches were
the most interesting to me, because they tasted very much like sushi! From the left was spicy tuna with avocado, cucumber, and a wasabi mayonnaise; middle is crab, avocado, cucumber, and a mustard/mayo mix; and to the right was cucumber, white sesame seeds and what I think was a seaweed mayonnaise. I could go back and eat my weight in these things.

Final conclusion, so very tasty! Everything on the menu here is a good 10 to 20% more expensive than it should be, but I figure you’re paying for the ambiance as well as the food. It’s not often where you can eat lunch while looking at your favorite artist’s work. And for the mens, I snuck a shot of one of the maids in action. You can thank me later. Also, two of my fingers for some reason. Ignore them!

Ingredients:
Boneless Port Cutlets (1 per person)
Eggs
Chicken Broth (or water)
Chopped Onions (or mushrooms! in melissa’s case)
Garlic Paste
Panko (or bread crumbs)
Golden Curry Bricks
Sesame Seed Oil
Veggie or Canola Oil

I chopped the onions before I found the camera. Basically it’s one large Sweet Mayan Onion . I like the sweet ones more than regular. They don’t taste so strong and are actually sweet! They also don’t break my heart and make me cry. Waaaah. hehe.

Here’s what I did!

Take the chopped onions, about two tablespoons of sesame seed oil, and a tablespoon or two of garlic paste.
Cook for 3-5 minutes on a medium heat until clear.

Add the chicken broth and/or water. Basically I add enough until the onions are covered.
I put the the whole box of chicken broth in there and a cup of water.
Cover and leave it at a medium heat.
Leave it until it starts boiling.

While the broth is going, work on the porks!

I took regular boneless cutlets and cut off the fat and butterflied the cutlets so that they’re thinner. If you buy the “wafer thin” ones, you won’t need to cut them in half.

Next, pound those guys down until they’re nice and flat and tender and thin and yum!

Put the Panko on a plate.
Mix up some eggs!

Dip the tenderized cutlet into the egg.
Make sure that it’s coated nicely on all sides.

Lay the pork onto the crumbs and get those covered all flakey!

I double dip it into the egg mixture again!

Then back to the Panko!
The double coating makes sure that the cutlet is nicely covered and also makes it crispier when cooked!

On a medium heat, let the pan heat up a bit.
Add enough Canola or Veggie Oil to nicely coat the bottom of the pan.

Place the cutlet into the firrreeee!

Press down on the cutlet gently to keep it nice and flat and yummy!
It takes a good while to brown on a medium heat, but it will keep it from burning! It takes about 5-10 minutes on each side.

While the cutlet is cooking, attend to the curry!

Add the Golden Curry bricks!
Make sure to stir frequently so that it dissolves nicely.
Cover with a lid and let it stay warm on a low heat.

Back to the cutlet!

When it’s brown, flip that shite!

When the cutlet is done, put it on a cooling rack (not your boobs), with a paper towel on top to collect some of the excess oil.
Let it cool for a few minutes until it’s warm to the touch but touchable and not burninating the countryside.


Slice that shit!

EATTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTTT!

It’s fairly simple, just rather time consuming, but VERY cheap in the long run! You can make about 4 or 5 rolls for $20 dollars! I love cheap.

Philly Roll
Veggie Roll (keebot style!)

ingredients:
sticky white rice (2.5 cups – “cups” being from the rice cooker not actual measurement)
salmon
cream cheese
avocado
cucumber
daikon radish
mirin
brown sugar
nori (25 grams for 10 sheets)
(and a cute boyfriend who draws next to the kitchen while you cook)

Put about 1/3rd cup of mirin and a tablespoon of brown sugar in a bowl and nuke it in the microwave! Mix and stir then pour onto the rice while folding it gently.

So once you’ve made the sushi rice, let it sit!

The secret to easily manipulated sushi rice is letting it cool off! Trying to work with hot or warm sushi rice will tear your seaweed or soy paper, so let it cool off! Atleast an hour. It can be a little warm, but it should be closer to room temp.

While it’s cooling . . .

Slice! avocado, cucumber, and salmon. Leave the cream cheese in the fridge until you’re ready to add it onto the roll, it will get soft and meltly if left outside.

You’ll want to wrap some cellophane over the bamboo mat. It helps keep the rice from sticking to the wood and makes the process much more managable.

Place the nori shiney side down on the matt.

Spread out your fingers across half the nori so that it won’t move and cover the other half with rice. I use the plane rice scooper from the rice cooker. You want it to be just an even layer. Be gentle and don’t press down, just across.

Looks so yummy when it’s covered!
Flip the riced sheet over!

Now you can pile on the goodies!
Salmon, avocado, cream cheese and cucumbers!

grab
tuck
squeeze
roll
love
repeat!

When you’re done, wrap that guy in cellophane (cuz the rice is on the outside) and set him aside. The rolls need to sit for a few minutes to conform to their new transdimentional spirit animals.

VeGGiE ROLL on over!
Start the same way as nori!

Avocado, cucumber, and daikon radish!

Once again, let the guy sit!

Now the Philly Roll has sat long enough and you can slice that bad boy!

Slice it with the plastic wrap still around it.
Go ahead and slice the hell out of your veggie roll!

This, my friends, is usukuchi shoyu. If you ever have the opportunity to purchase this fine condiment, do so with great haste. I find myself reaching for this more than normal soy sauce in my kitchen.

I’ll steal an excerpt from the awesome tome “The Japanese Kitchen” by Hiroko Shimbo for an explanation. (Also, I will totally be reviewing this book at a later date. )

“The second kind of soy sauce is usukuchi shoyu, “light-colored soy sauce”. To produce light-colored shoyu, the wheat is more lightly roasted, and more salt is added to slow the fermentation. A small amount of mirin, or sweet rice wine, may also be added. The resulting shoyu is lighter in color, less strongly flavored, and slightly higher in salt content than regular shoyu, about 19 percent. Because of these characteristics, usukuchi shoyu is used in recipes when a refined color and weak flavor are required.”

I tend to prefer this sauce because it has a more delicate flavor than regular soy sauce, which sometimes is a little too strong for the presence I want it to have in dishes. However, use a light hand with it, because of the higher salt content. It will make your dish taste like you dumped a pound of kosher salt in there if you’re not careful.

Don’t confuse this with half salt or “light” soy sauce. Totally not the same thing, and frankly the “light” stuff should probably be disposed of in some sort of elaborate exorcism ritual. As with all soy sauce, pick one where the ingredients list reads something like “soybeans, water”. No high fructose corn syrup or MSG is needed or wanted.

(Also, if you’re an American whitey like myself with no proper manners, this stuff is awesome poured over plain white rice. But don’t tell anyone I told you to do it. It’s our little secret. )